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Poolside Musings

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By Helen Lee Gray

I love a phone call which begins with a great friend telling you they are coming to visit.  I especially love a phone call from said friend when she tells you that she is putting us up in the 5 star Pestana Palace hotel Lisbon and that we are meeting this Sunday!

Well if the hotel is good enough for Madonna, then it’s good enough for us!

 
Poolside Musings One  - when it looks too much like your boobs it is wrong.

Because of the heat, we didn’t do much during the day, instead we lazed by the pool, reading, chatting and people watching.   There’s that great scene in Sex and the City where Stanford and Carrie are talking about judging people and he uses the line, “Carrie, we judge, it’s what we do.”  He’s right, most of us have made people watching a fine art, complimented by the catty comments, either said in your head or to each other. 

This in mind I was watching some of the ‘Euro Rich’ at the hotel pool, when one woman caught my eye, as she pulled off her top to expose her bikini, the boobs didn’t move at all, an impressive piece of surgery I thought.   This woman and her boyfriend took the sun loungers next to me and I thought no more off it as I dozed in the 38 degree heat.   Upon waking up about an hour later she caught my eye again, those boobs didn’t have nipples – not such an impressive piece of surgery I thought, as I rubbed my eyes…hang on, that’s not her boobs that’s her bum!   Yes a bum lift of extraordinary proportions, pointing sky high, tiny bikini bottoms hidden by the rise of the rump.    I suggested to my friend that she have a look and confirm my thoughts ‘yeah, it’s a bum lift, but they should have sorted out her cellulite at the same time!’  -  Ahhh, we all judge!

Poolside Musings Two – a pool with a centre-piece gives a focus for posing.

People are funny, we lay there all of us by the pool, reading our Kindles, playing on our phones or tablets….I think I saw someone reading a book and actual book with pages!  But what was funny was the fact that what we all love is a bit of posing.  



The fountain in the centre of the pool gave the perfect opportunity for posing.  Starting with butt lady from Musings One….she swam out there, climbed up to the fountain and began some posing, which may have betrayed her previous career in the soft porn industry!  Next person to swim out, to lay down across the side of the fountain and pose for pictures was a young man in a pair of ultra-tight Prada swimming trunks – ah the Euro Gay Man (more on them in Poolside Musings Three).  He continued to pose for a few moments while photos were taken and everyone noticed.  On our final morning, and all in the name of blogging, I swam out there.  The pose isn’t quite the same, but my English reserve kicked in….it’s a shame I forgot to suck in my tummy though!
 
 

Poolside Musings Three – Is he gay or European?

 
Just as Legally Blonde the Musical suggests, sometimes it’s hard to tell!

 
So, what do you think?   Here are just some of the other people around the pool.

A group of five men, all with good hair, well kept, various ages all in the best swimwear known to man (and all of it quite tight fitting).   Are they gay or European?
 
 

Older man and younger man, head to toe Gucci, complete with soft-soled Gucci loafers, one in red and the other in blue, (older man in fabulous maritime style blue braded jacket.)   Gay or European?
In the hills of Central Portugal you don’t see this European chic gay man.  It’s a trait of the city gay man, and in this case the city gay man with money.   It made me smile, I remembered nights at G-A-Y and Balans Old Compton Street with some very fond memories indeed.

Poolside Musings Four.   Is drinking at noon bad?
Not when it’s white wine Sangria complete with fresh passion fruit.
 

Obviously we did leave the pool area, I mean a girl’s got to eat!   But this little holiday will always be remembered for the poolside people watching….that comes with the final thought of ‘if we all people watch, then what on earth are people saying about me?’  but that way madness lies so I’ll try not to give it another thought – now pass me some Sangria!

 

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