When we moved to the hills of Portugal we thought we'd be growing all our own vegetables, picking grapes, harvesting olives and being just a little more self-sufficient. But over the last 8 years we've not really embraced this way of life. The veg patch is more of a place where veg goes to die, we've never picked the grapes and up until this month we've never bothered with the olives. We have about 13 olive trees in our garden. Each year we watch the olives grow, fall on the ground and rot. I hack back the grapevines so hard the neighbours come out to laugh at my poor pruning skills. They tell me each year 'you'll never get grapes if you do that' I reply 'I don't want grapes, I just want leaves'....they shrug and laugh to themselves as the walk away. And as for that poor veg patch...well aphids, rot, bad soil and a whole host of problems mean we only plant peas (which we often forget to harvest until they've gone hard), tomatoes (...